Can we be friends

Or at least, let’s act as if

I write weekly on tactics and insights on cultivating authentic relationships that matter to your business, career, and life.

I had a great question come in this week - the kind that triggers real thought rather than quickly drawing from the buffer of “stuff I get asked all the time, plz just take my free course

I’ve spoken at length about the best way to bring some order to your otherwise-chaotic network, and I often reference a very simple intuitive tool to aid you.

“What do you do with the people you want to have a better relationship with? The aspirational ones?”

Great question.

I’ve tried a number of things over the years, and have landed as a simple solution.

Act as if.

This is a principle out of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Law of Attraction, and the hundreds of cute Instagram accounts that regurgitate principles out of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Law of Attraction while subtly trying to subvert our political system.

It’s a simple idea - energy precedes manifestation. Act as if you’re already the perfect candidate for a job, rather than fret that you need the gig. Act as if you’re fit, rather than feel you need to do 100 pushups and choke

So the next time you have that first introductory call and instantly get that funny feeling “Yes I’d love to work with them but can I also invite them to every birthday party for the rest of my life¹?”

Put them in your CRM alongside all the people you already have a great vibe with.

I’ve personally found success with this to build my network. I’ve long struggled with impostor syndrome, most notably at conferences, where social anxiety is already peaking.

Rather than the usual “how can I prove that I belong here” I took a different approach. I just acted like everyone there was already a friend and colleague. And sure enough - I walked out with more friends and colleagues than any previous experience.

Taking Action

So when you’re prioritizing your CRM with who you spend more of your time and attention spending time with, focus not just on the people you really enjoy and value - include the people who you’d like to enjoy and value as well.

Have a fantastic week -


Can you tell I have a seven-year-old?

What did you think of The Sphere this week?

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

If you found this valuable, have you snagged my course on cultivating your network?

“What do I do with my hands?” wasn’t a problem for me.

I’ve spent the past 12 years helping people like you grow their businesses and careers by cultivating the relationships that matter. I took everything I’ve learned and practiced, and put it in a professionally produced online course.