Connection over value

And the relief of having just one laundry basket

I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.

Few realizations have brought as much positive change to my life as figuring out that it made no difference whether I separated my laundry between lights and darks (is that terminology acceptable to say in 2024?).

So, I know the relief that people feel when they learn the concept of connection over value.

We meet and re-meet (or in the case of my half-second-cousin, re-re-re-meet) people all the time. Consciously or unconsciously, we choose if we want to put effort to keep in touch or let them slip away.

In the professional sphere, the obvious factor is how the perception of future value. We invest in stocks on the premise of financial return - the same goes for people, right?

And we’re dead wrong.

Days, weeks, or months down the line, how “important” someone is doesn’t mean squat when we’re staring at a screen, having no real interest in connecting to that person. We’d much rather check email or scroll cat videos - which is what we end up doing instead. Our database is filled with people we never really want to talk to, and we give up entirely.

When you realize that the people you should choose to stay in touch with are the people you like to keep in touch with, things change. When your CRM or calendar reminds you of them - you’re much more eager to reach out.

I’d much rather you have a network of people you can be yourself around, rather than “important” people you have to struggle to engage with.

And while we think we may be “losing out” on the benefits of staying in touch with those “important” people - we’re probably wrong there too. Because the people we authentically like and trust - well, they probably like and trust us too. And that’s the most important thing in business today.

Taking Action

Set up a few groups of people in your CRM.

People I love

People I like

People I know

People I don’t really know (or don’t care for)

Then trust your intuition.

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“What do I do with my hands?” wasn’t a problem for me.

I’ve spent the past 12 years helping people like you grow their businesses and careers by cultivating the relationships that matter. I took everything I’ve learned and practiced, and put it in a professionally produced online course.