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- The grocery store test
I write weekly about the strategies, habits, and tactics around cultivating the connections that matter to you.
When choosing who you want to proactively maintain a relationship with, giving similar people similar attention makes sense. Past clients are past clients, after all, right? Or maybe, you would get a little feisty and decide who is more “important” - and focus more on those people.
Until the grocery store test, I used to agree.
Imagine you’re in the grocery store, wandering up and down the cereal aisle, trying as usual to decide if you want your normal “healthy” cereal (which, btw, has as much sugar as a doughnut), or just say screw it and get the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Blasterz. You turn your head and see, at the end of the aisle, one of your old clients standing there. They haven’t noticed you yet.
Do you drop the boxes, run over, and hug them?
Or do you drop the boxes, run in the opposite direction, and sprint out through the loading dock, just to be extra sure they didn’t see you?
The next time you look at someone in your contact list, use that same test too.
Why, you say?
If your CRM suggests someone that you genuinely want to reach out to, there’s a good chance that you’ll do it, and then move on to the next person.
But if you see the drop-the-boxes-and-run-away person, maybe you’ll send a message. Or maybe you’ll decide to respond to a few emails, unpack the dishwasher, fix your ingrown toenail, or do literally anything else other than reach out to that person. And probably not reach out to the next person either.
When it comes to cultivating relationships, you’re on your own. Decreasing friction is key.
As much as we may believe all people deserve equal attention, or “importance” is what matters - no, consistency trumps both of them.
Use the grocery store test as a guide for choosing who’s in and who’s out.
BTW - do I pass the grocery store test?
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